Before I Wake
by Efiwyvan
Summary: Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep...


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_A simple story of 800 words._

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"…Now I lay me down to rest  
I pray, oh Lord, this night is blessed…"

I don't know how to pray. I've never prayed in my life… not until now. I like poetry, though. I guess lots of prayers count as poetry. I guess whatever it is that calms you when you need it… that's what matters. Whatever makes you feel that there is someone with you, watching over you… that matters. Right now, I need somebody to be here with me… I don't want to feel alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to die alone.

"…And though the day is at an end  
I know the sun will rise again…"

Whoever they were… they took me by surprise. I should've seen them coming. I should've heard them. I should've been ready. I wasn't. I wonder if Master Splinter would be disappointed in me. No, he wouldn't… he'd tell me to use it as a lesson. Take it to heart, remember it next time… don't make the same mistake again. But I won't make the same mistake again. I will never make any mistakes again… ever. I won't have the chance. Not after that last one.

"…Now I lay me down and pray  
For peaceful closing of the day…"

Raph will be happy when he finds out that I took some of them down with me. I wish he was here. I wonder if I shouldn't have tried to dodge that last blow. I knew the blade was going to hit me… it was just a matter of where it was going to hit me. I jumped, the blade pierced my side. If I hadn't jumped it would have hit my neck… my throat. I'd be dead already, not bleeding in the shadows… alone.

"…And angels on my left and right  
Will keep me safe all through the night…"

Donny mentioned once that the human body has about five quarts of blood… just about twenty cups, I think. I'm not human, but it's close enough to call it even. I'm losing a lot. I wonder how long it'll be before I bleed myself to sleep. I know that'll come first… I'll bleed to sleep… then, in my sleep, I'll bleed to death. I'm scared of that. I've always been scared of going to sleep and not waking up. I guess I was right to be scared.

"…Now I lay me down at last  
I remember all the moments past…"

Leo and I once talked about dying, and what would be the worst way to go. We were just kids then. We thought up some really strange ways, but most of it was funny. Funny in that sort of way that you knew would never happen… it was funny. It was funny back then, thinking of dying by a thousand paper cuts or freezing in ice cream. I wish I could tell him that now I know the truth… that the worst way to die is alone…

"…And gentle hope will ease my fears  
As night descends and darkness nears…"

Those people… the ones that say your life flashes before your eyes… they're liars. Because I'm there. I'm dying now, and I'm not seeing any flashes of myself as a baby, a toddler, a ten-year-old… I'm remembering, yes… but I'm remembering it slowly. Slower with every heartbeat, with every drop of blood. I wonder how much time I have left. I wonder if I will feel the last moment. How long before the pain in my side is gone? How long before I am gone? I wonder.

"…Now I lay me down to sleep  
I pray the Lord my soul to keep…"

I wonder if there is someone out there watching me… waiting for me to die. Angels waiting to take me to heaven. The devil waiting to drag me to hell. They won't have to wait long, whoever they are. I listen for voices in the shadows. Evil laughter or songs… nothing's there. Maybe I won't hear it until the last moment. Maybe I won't hear it at all. Maybe I'm going to wake up nowhere. Where does a person like me go in the end?

"…If I should die before I wake  
I pray the Lord my soul to take…"

I close my eyes. I guess it's time. I'm not as scared as I thought I would be. It is just cold and dark, that's all… There are voices in my darkness… who are they? The devil…? The angels…? One… two… three… four voices… talking to me, talking to each other. I know these voices. I'm not alone anymore.

_"…Is he alright…?"_

They are angels.

_"…He'll be okay…"_

My brothers, my father.

_"…Thank God we got here in time…"_

My angels.

_"…He's only sleeping…"_

…Amen…

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**The End**

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_Edited to add: The ending may be a little unclear, but, yes... Mikey is still with us._

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End file.
